To-Do-List For Real Love - Santa Monica, CA

Last week end we celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary, and I thought back to how we met more than 20 years ago. I thought about how on paper it looked like this relationship could never work. Not only because we lived on separate continents in different time zones and had grown up in different worlds. I thought about how my future husband checked only a few boxes I had come up with for my next boyfriend after the last breakup. I thought about how happy I still am that I did neither follow reasonable advice friends gave me nor serious warnings that I gave myself.

Then, I wrote this poem: 

To-Do-List For Real Love

Go ahead! Make your list of what your next companion has to be:

Nice, strong, filthy rich

A traveler of the world

A savvy business woman

A race car driver with a mansion

A nomad creating poems in a van


Write it all down

Even make a vow:

I will not tolerate another mattress on the floor

There will be no more pet-rats in my life

Not one night without whiskey

And ice cream every day that ends in 'y'

Whatever you think is not negotiable

Write it down


Then, when you ask yourself again:

Could this be love?

Throw all those words out of your window

Let them float away

Connect with the knowing

Deep inside without a name


If you feel even just a bit like you put on an itchy sweater

Turn around, leave and run

If you feel like the north star's light is guiding you

Stay, relax and trust

If you feel stillness ripple through your body

Nothing else matters

No promise given to yourself, your friends, your bible or your mom


A new adventure starts

With no one at the wheel

The only words of any value 

Are silent now

And spoken by your heart

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